Because You're a Girl

Most of my workout partners are men, only because there are very few women who train in martial arts. So for the most part -- my training partners, my Sempai's, and my teachers are all men. I have no problem with this. I am smaller than all of them -- and I like the challenge of finding ways to make the arts work for my body type -- so that I can help those beneath me. As they say -- you probably won't get attacked by someone smaller than you. So, personally I like training with bigger fellows.

Recently one of my training partners was over at the house and a funny little conversation happened. He was talking about the great respect that he had for one of the senior students -- how that senior student always showed him how a technique was supposed to work. I told him that my experience was quite different than his -- that I was rarely given the opportunity to learn from that particular senior student. My training partner's response ----  "it's because you're a girl."

I was a bit shocked at first, but not by much. And frankly it's not the first time I've heard this in the dojo. Do I believe it? Yes and No. More importantly I decided a long time ago to pay no mind to those types of behaviors or comments.

For me, there are only two people's thoughts/opinions that matter in my training -- my instructor's opinion and mine (which is always the same as my instructors opinion). This allows for a certain sense of clean honesty and truth in training. I know how I train. My instructor knows how I train -- if he didn't, I wouldn't be a student of his.

I know that I never use "being a girl" as an excuse to not perform at the level I am expected to perform. I also know that I train harder and longer than most of my training partners. So, nothing else matters.

Do I find myself training alone sometimes without the guidance of the higher ranks or senior students. Absolutely. Do I think it's because I'm girl? For me, I choose not to have that conversation because it doesn't really matter. My choice is to follow the path that my instructor has laid out before me -- the rocks and pebbles in the way -- are insignificant.

There are no women in the dojo

To understand the words that I'll write here -- you'll need to understand the way that I think. I learned a long time ago -- that there are no girls in the dojo. What does that mean? It means that there are no excuses for not being able to do something -- just because you're a "girl." Us girls, love playing the "girl" card when it's convenient. I have no patience for those types of women. Don't get me wrong -- I revel in skirts, high heels and lipstick and cooking for my husband. But in the dojo, it's different.

Don't come to me and tell me you're not strong enough, or that you'll break a nail. Cut your nails and do some push ups. There is no whining and no excuses. Yes, you are a girl training in martial arts. Some things will be harder for you -- other things easier. But mostly, you'll have to try harder and be better to earn the respect of your fellow dojo mates. No whining. No complaining. No girls in the dojo.