Because You're a Girl

Most of my workout partners are men, only because there are very few women who train in martial arts. So for the most part -- my training partners, my Sempai's, and my teachers are all men. I have no problem with this. I am smaller than all of them -- and I like the challenge of finding ways to make the arts work for my body type -- so that I can help those beneath me. As they say -- you probably won't get attacked by someone smaller than you. So, personally I like training with bigger fellows.

Recently one of my training partners was over at the house and a funny little conversation happened. He was talking about the great respect that he had for one of the senior students -- how that senior student always showed him how a technique was supposed to work. I told him that my experience was quite different than his -- that I was rarely given the opportunity to learn from that particular senior student. My training partner's response ----  "it's because you're a girl."

I was a bit shocked at first, but not by much. And frankly it's not the first time I've heard this in the dojo. Do I believe it? Yes and No. More importantly I decided a long time ago to pay no mind to those types of behaviors or comments.

For me, there are only two people's thoughts/opinions that matter in my training -- my instructor's opinion and mine (which is always the same as my instructors opinion). This allows for a certain sense of clean honesty and truth in training. I know how I train. My instructor knows how I train -- if he didn't, I wouldn't be a student of his.

I know that I never use "being a girl" as an excuse to not perform at the level I am expected to perform. I also know that I train harder and longer than most of my training partners. So, nothing else matters.

Do I find myself training alone sometimes without the guidance of the higher ranks or senior students. Absolutely. Do I think it's because I'm girl? For me, I choose not to have that conversation because it doesn't really matter. My choice is to follow the path that my instructor has laid out before me -- the rocks and pebbles in the way -- are insignificant.