In the Dojo: New Women

I am always so happy when we have other women join our dojo or try a class -- because it's a rarity. When it does happen the most important thing is to make them feel welcome. If you've been in the martial arts for any length of time, you've probably forgotten how intimidating class is/was when you first started. Or maybe you liked it right away -- I, for sure, did not.

The first time I tried our martial arts class, I didn't want to go back for the second class. The techniques that I learned during the first class weren't difficult -- it was the sheer loudness of the class that got to me -- something I never would have expected. I'm not a wishy washy kinda girl, but somehow for me, the loudness made everything seem all the more violent -- not something I was looking for. I distinctly remember during the warm up exercises (in the beginning of class) -- the whole class was slapping the mats and kiaiing. The combo made for a deafening roar -- when I was expecting a softer more mellow atmosphere. Get me outta there.

Long story short -- my husband convinced me to go back to the second class -- and I've been loving class ever since. But I can see for those ladies who try class without a partner or without a friend -- they may not have a friend or loved one convince them to go back and give it a second chance. The first time you try something completely new and different can be quite shocking -- the second time you try it -- not so shocking, third time, even less shocking, etc. Until it's not shocking anymore, and realize you just might like it.

As a girl in the dojo, I try and help ALL new students get to the place where they are less shocked and can truly evaluate whether class is for them or not. But with the women, I'm extra sensitive. Here are some things that may go through their minds:

1. Being shocked. I like to warn all new students, especially women about some things that may be shocking at first. Somehow if they know it's coming -- it helps lighten the blow.
2. Being accepted & welcomed. We all know that women can be catty. I like to relieve a women's concerns about this right off the bat. I'm not here to compete with her or be catty, there's no room in the dojo for those games -- I'm here to help her (as well as the other students). Plus everyone wants to feel welcome in a new environment that is already intimidating and scary -- both men and women.
3. Not knowing if they can do it. My job and your job is to show them that they can do it -- by performing your techniques well. Inspire and push those beneath you by pushing yourself.

I'm not what you would consider a girly girl. Sometimes we get girly girls in the dojo -- the ones that have two inch long acrylic nails, come in with a full face of makeup, hair done up, etc. That's fine. They are welcome. With these girls it's even more important to follow numbers 1-3 above. Do not ignore them. Do not get catty. Make them feel welcome, because more so than anyone else they may feel shocked and completely out of their element.

I'm a bit biased in that I really truly believe that martial arts can help all people -- but it's up to each person to find that. They're the ones that have to climb the hill. Help them get through the shock, make them feel welcome -- so they can have a chance to really learn.

I'm so glad that I didn't follow through on my initial decision to not go back to class -- because it was a decision based on fear. Help the new students get through the fear.